Today has been a good day but on the train this morning I had a sudden urge to tell people something. I was sitting on an empty train and thinking about how much of a winge bag I am, and I am one, a big one.
This last weak has been, to me, a personal challenge. I don’t have much in the way of personal confidence when it comes to work. I have, voluntarily, taken on some extra duties to help out with a project I am very interested in. So I thought I would be doing all the grunt work, which is fine, but it turns out that I get to make some minor decisions as well. I also get a position of safety and have had to be trained so that I am competent to conduct tours around a massively busy building site. I am totally ok with this but it is a little daunting. The long and short of it that at first, with my lack of confidence in myself, I would not be able to cope with it all but I can and did.
So in essence I made the week harder for myself and to several people who are all my most feverent supporters, I moaned about it. Of course knowing me as well as they did they all told me to shut up and believe in myself. I am one of life’s worriers and I suppose I always will be and never believe myself capable of what I know deep down I can easily do.
My husband got himself a new job this week which will lead into a substantial increase in his salary. I go into overdrive panicking he will leave me. He will want all these posh holidays and nights out etc which I find hard to afford. Why do I think, we married for better or worse so why is he going to leave me. He has told me he will never leave me and that I am his world. What is wrong with me?
Anyway back to the train this morning. Enoughs enough I thought to myself, what have I got to moan about. I have my health, a well paid job, brilliant husband and family and the best friends you could wish for. I have a few luxuries and general I don’t really go without. What have I really got to moan about. I could go on and say there are many in this world that would love what I have. You have already thought this no doubt and I should quit winging! Your dead right, so that’s what I’m going to do, stop moaning on and do it!
One of my very favourite sayings I heard once always sticks with me and I will share it with you dear reader,
The hardest thing in this world is living in it, be brave, live!