Moving Day!

Hi all!

Hope your all well!

Today is the day before I move house into the first home we have ever bought. We have always rented and I have finally come round to agree after some 15 years of renting that it is indeed dead money. So we took the plunge and have bought a new home. A brand new, sparkly, shiny home. His Lordship has been working really hard on getting everything done as I am one of life’s panic’ers.

We exchanged contract last week and he and his parents with a little bit form me have been decorating and putting up shelves etc since last Friday. It looks great to be honest and I can’t wait to get moved in and unpacked. We have bought a lot of new stuff and completely killed our bank balances. It will be pretty though.

We have had to downsize severely from a 2 bed large maisonette to a smaller 2 bedroom flat but I think with all we have thrown out or recycled we should be fine. Just a few issues of where to put a minority of things. We were so worried that our sofa’s wouldn’t fit in but they will.

I thing I am going to say about the whole experience is that is costs a lot of money. I know it is a hell of a lot cheaper buying a new flat as there is no chain etc and we are not selling a place just buying one. Solicitors and fees and ground fees and services charges etc £1,071 and thats before we have even moved in. At least it is done with now.

The insurance company did make me laugh though. We are on the 3rd floor of our block and we have had an extra clause added to our contents insurance as we are in a high risk flood area. Seriously the 3rd floor, the only water I am actually near is a canal, canals don’t flood, they are not tidal and can be controlled. They say it is surface run off when there is heavy rain etc. Surface run off on the 3rd floor. I said to them I would be more worried about the people in the flats below and the nearby City which we are above. All we got in the way of response was the computer says it so it must be true. Yes deary and the internet says that Elvis is living very happily in a civil partnership with Lord Lucan and their pet Red Rum and all descend from the Universal Overlords living on Mars…..but if the computer said it than it must be true!

The Royal Mail were even better, as it’s a new build it the address wasn’t registered so I emailed to have them add it. They asked for the full address and area. I sent it…..sorry having difficulty finding it. Can you send us more info on the local area, what is it near on either side. Well on one side we have a train station and on the side we have a massive and I do mean massive Royal Mail delivery office. Their response, yes OK we have it now……dear me.

So we are all set to go, just got to get through the day today, do a bit of filming and negotiate getting some iPads out of procurement. Then home for 5 days to pack, move my entire life, unpack it and rest for a few days!



Trolls……nasty vile b******ds

Morning everyone!

I am sure you are all aware of internet trolling. The practices of bullying people on the internet through whatever website or portal. I have been reading the paper this morning about the young girl that killed herself because of the abuse she was subjected to online.

It is bad enough that these vile cowardly people will pick on a girl because of her weight and issues she may have had. Now these so called people, although I insult the human race by calling them people; dogs more like, have trashed a Facebook page set up in memory of her. Sickening. One was even quoted as saying ‘Slut deserved it….I’m glad she is dead!’. When challenged by friends they said they didn’t care and it was funny. It’s not funny, not funny at all. I was a victim of bullying when I was at school I know it can be very hard to deal and cope with being different or having things in your life that make you stand out. Just being quite and a loner labelled me as someone to be bullied from the start.

Many years ago when Friends Reunited was big, the days before Facebook and Twitter I registered on there to maybe try and find the one or two people that were nice to me at school. Instead I got a message from one of my tormenters. She apologised for what she put me through as she now had a child at school going through the same. I though to myself, that has taken a lot of guts to do that, to admit and own up to something. Sorry is the hardest word. I accepted the apology and we talked a bit more. I think bullying changed my life, I hated school so much that I didn’t stay on and go to sixth form or college but I couldn’t bear anymore time around people that didn’t understand or like me very much at all. I wish I had stay on….but then saying that I’m glad I didn’t because I wouldn’t change my life at all. It impacts on your life in ways your don’t really think. Makes you hate things, makes social interactions hard and difficult, you may not trust people and shut yourself away. Makes life harder when your older!

Some say the young girl above should have just walked away? Is that easy when most of the young people of todays lives are all online in one way or another? Text bullying, messages on Facebook you can’t just ignore, they wait for you to log on then bam, they are on your screen waiting for you to read. Should she have told someone? Yes of course but do some people find that easy? I tried telling my head of year but she wasn’t interested. I stop asking for help after that and just put up with it. Maybe she did tell someone and they brushed her off. How would that make you feel in this instance….would you keep asking for help?

This leads to the question should society be doing more? As society I mean all levels, the internet and website providers, parents, police, government, you and me. We all have our part to play.

The website providers can monitor for key words and phrases, we know the technology exists to do this.
Parents must keep an eye on their children’s internet usage, four young people have committed suicide in the past that have used this particular website. If you were a parent would you keep an eye on your child to see if they were being bullied or indeed bullying others. I imagine this would be difficult, to find out your child is a bully and causing harm to others. What would you do?
Government can bring in legislation that demand the website gives them the information and identity who is doing it as they can be doing anonymously so they can be prosecuted.

Are these thing doable? Are they achievable? Can we do it now or at least get the ball rolling?


Stop bullying now, simple. Play your part.


Being a fatty!

Morning all!

I have had a food filled weekend! It has not been very good at all. No control, well some, but very little!

It all started on Friday at work, the product testers were in testing a new range of food and all the left overs were left in the office. The sandwiches were one thing but there were some of the most orgasmic looking cakes and I just couldn’t resist. I ate a lemon version of a cinnamon swirl, whilst on the subject of cinnamon swirls I had already had one that morning for breakfast. Oops. So thats 2 sugary calories laden bread based treats. This is on top of the Cadbury Chocolate Fingers we had already eaten that day. I ended up going on a long train that evening and ate even more, sandwich from above and 3 packs of mini crisps that they give you on trains these days. Ouch. I am of course forgetting the salad and CAKE I had for lunch. So thats now 3 cakes. Not a good day and no wonder I felt very sluggish the next morning!

The next morning I felt quite sluggish so I skipped breakfast, mistake number 1. I met a friend for lunch and tucked into a croque madame, ham and cheese toastie with a egg on the top, delicious. This came with chips and the sides of mayo etc. I ate the lot but I thought as I hadn’t had breakie I could get away with it. Nope that was the inner Fatty wanting to be fed. So after that I ended up in Cyber Candy being Kit Kat’s from Australia and sticking them in my bag. The worst is yet to come. It was my nephews birthday we went for a meal at a carvery. So naturally I went for the king size plate to get the sausage which in my defence I didn’t actually eat. There was a significant pile of roast potato’s, a particular weakness of mine. Then we went back to my brothers for guess what….CAKE, thats now 4 pieces, add to that a scone with cream and a few mini eclairs!

Now I know what you are all thinking…he couldn’t possibly eat anymore on Sunday. Well in answer to your question, No I didn’t. I woke up to myself, finally. I went to the supermarket and bought loads of fruit and made a lovely fruit salad which I had to follow my baked potato and chicken with veg. Healthier and better and to be honest I enjoyed it, it tasted lovely and was full of vits and minerals that no doubt my body is lacking with all the crap I have been eating of late. I am also hoping that this will give me a bit of an energy boost. I always find that after eating crap I do get drained and I know people or rather my Hubby gets annoyed when I moan about being tired the whole time. I have been asked to go out to Zumba classes with friends and I would really like to go but I am so conscious of my weight and how I look it stopping me from doing a great many things. I hate the way the clothes fit me, I am convinced people are just watching and looking at me the whole, this makes me miserable and I get down and so I turn to food for comfort. The worst of all vicious circles.

I am ashamed writing this down to see exactly what I have eaten this weekend. I have been comfort eating, no two ways about it to be fair. I am just a porker and need to do something about it. I need t find a different comfort tool that isn’t food. Drink? Drugs? Nope I need something else.

Any suggestions?

Horrors of Life

Morning all!

You know I wasn’t gonna blog today as I couldn’t think of anything to blog about until that is I picked up this mornings Metro (UK free newspaper) and looked at the front page.

I just saw the picture of the Castro bloke who kidnapped those 3 women and left them locked up for 10 years or so in his basement and used them for sex toys. I made the mistake of then reading more of the piece and just got angrier and angrier.

This man says it’s not his fault he is a sex addict and that he had no exit strategy. This has really stuck in my head, no exit strategy! People who have fought wars need an exit strategy to withdraw. Keeping 3 women, or girls when they were actually kidnapped, locked in a basement and used as sex slaves, beaten to force mis-carriages and abortions, every shred of dignity and respect torn away from them by someone who does know better! Yes an addiction can be a very controlling and difficult thing but when your addiction results in you harming other in the most hideous way then you KNOW you are doing wrong. If it were me I think castration is the way forward and not chemical castration, public and using blunt scissors, cut the fuckers nuts off!

I hope those women will become stronger because of their hideous past, I know those around them will support and love them and give them all they need. Now this is done in court and the bastard has been given a life sentence and will never be freed ever, lets let the women and their families get to know one another again in peace and away from the media.

I can’t imagine what it must be to have gone through something like that. I hope me and mine never have to. What lessons do we have to learn from this. Do as a worldwide society have to do more to raise awareness of sex addictions and they problems they create? Do we need harsher penalties for those that do commit these crimes?

The world just seems to be full of sorrow and cruelty this last week with the awful news of the little boy who was so severely neglected by his mother and step father that they killed him. It has been in the news about the text messages they sent each other stating the most cruel things about their treatment of the boy. The way they wouldn’t feed him for days, all he had was a mattress to sleep on and sadly had to use as a toilet. Tears are welling up in my eyes as I think about it. How can people do this to other people to children. The little guys path had just started to be walked and it was cut so short by some cruel demented people. I seriously can’t understand it, why? How?

I hope he is resting now in whatever happens after we leave this place. Night Night little prince!


Fear or stupid?

Good Morning dear readers!

I hope you are well and happy this day!

Today I am on my way to learn how to be a fire trainer on a pilot course. I sounds like a fun thing to do, start fires and put them out but I suppose fire is one of those things that scares me and I think today is only going to reinforce that belief.

This lead me on to thinking what things scare you? Rational or irrational. I have a friend who is scared of balloons! BALLOONS, who could be scared of balloons the big jessie! Hold on…..think. What do we all do when a balloon pops, we jump in shock or surprise. Is this the thing that scares my friend, is it the feel of the rubber on their skin that they don’t like. Starting to make sense? To me it is?

Another friends I know has a fear of sticky things. If you were to tie him down and pour golden syrup over him I really do think he would freak out and have heart failure or something. Why? What is it about the sticky thing that freaks him out. This one I can’t fathom out but I don’t think it is bonkers.

Clowns scares people and the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang to this day scares the life out of a friend of mine. This I think is easy to understand, we were exposed to these things as children and they stay with us. I am still scared of thunder and lightening. I would scream the school down if it happened to start while i was at school. The teachers would have had to call my Mum to and get me or try to pacify me with a toy or a book of some sort. Even now i don’t like it and if I am walk out in it I will find the nearest school or house to get into to wait it out.

Spiders, snakes, rats and insects are all perfectly normal to be scared of to me. I hate them, anything with more than 2 legs except dogs are wrong and scary and I really do fear for my life if i have to touch one or be near one. I once almost killed myself and a friend when we viciously attacked by a wasp.

Picture the scene, it is a warm sunny day in the UK’s second city and me and a friend are driving into town for a bit of shopping and lunch. We have the windows wound down (this was in a time before cars had air con) we are listening to some classic gay hand bags tunes from the radio. Suddenly and without provocation a wasp the size of a house flies into the car and starts attacking us with malice and intent. My blood pressure rises and I start to sweat, the adrenalin in pumping around my system getting me ready for my final moment on this planet. I start to look around for something to defend myself with but all I can find is an empty crisp packet. What do I do? Remain calm and not move it won’t bother you….erm Hello, did you not read above where I stated it had come for blood and nothing else would do? I had no choice. There was nothing left to do….was where, I looked around one last time, where was my exit, my sanctuary? Where was nothing. So I did what all good gays do in there last moments. As the killer, vengeful wasp flew at me, not doubt ready to deal the killer blow I looked straight at it, I could see the blood thirst in its eyes…..I flew my arms out and…..screamed like a girl and hit my friend, who was driving, in the eye blinding him to all the traffic around us. He swerved as he panic’d because I was in full ‘I’m going to die’ mode. We hit the pavement, luckily there was no one on it and we came to crashing halt.

Stories of my bravery, how I faced down the killer wasp were never told because I was a big girls blouse and almost killed us dead. So I don’t think I can criticise anyone else for their phobias.

I always think that fear is what keeps us safe at the end of the day. Challenge by all means but challenge with thought and mindfulness!