I’m trying not to start this by saying it’s been a while but it has. Anyway it’s my blog and it’s my choice.
So, you are more than likely thinking is he going to tell us about his opinion on drains, well no i’m not. Well, not the physical take the smelly water and material away kind of drains but the people drains. I also don’t mean the type of people that drain society of resources be that food or money. What I want to talk to you about it emotional drains.
Have you ever been on a trains/bus/tram/car ride with a person, be it work colleague or other that does nothing but moan about everything? You, like I did the other day, bounce out of bed in a relativity good mood, maybe even at stupid o’clock in the morning, you shower and eat breakfast and look forward to the day ahead. Pick up your bag and slap on your headphones with some up beat tunes. Then it happens, either when you are on the way to work or when you arrive and you are just settling in and firing up the laptop or maybe even standing in the queue for the most important coffee of the day. You bump into the drainer.
You reluctantly take off your headphones or stop logging in or turn around in the queue knowing full well who the voice belongs to and what is coming but we all want to be polite don’t we. Should we? Do we have to be polite?
Let’s face it, what actually happens? They have a good old moan about something either affects them or you both, it could be anything from governments to work, relationships to holidays. There is always something we can have a good old moan about and we all like a good old moan, I think it is in our nature. However that person who had started moaning and complaining about whatever it is slowly draining your positive mood, you can even feel it happen but it is easier to let it happen and then slowly be drawn into it and start having a good old moan yourself. Then it becomes a pissing up the wall contest to see who’s life is worse, after all knowing that someone else is suffering and unhappy makes us feel better about ourselves but we still like to win.
I’m going to come across as hypocritical at some point I just know I am simply because you can’t help but love a good old bitch and moan session but that is in a way my point, if you are both up for a bitch and moan session then let it happen. Its good to get it out, its good for the soul. It can bring people together and strengthen bonds in work places and friendships if we are suffering communal issues that we could help each other out with.
I want to focus on those days when life is good, when you know that you are going to try and be positive to make a difference. As regular readers will know that I have had my fair share of mental issues and positivity is something that is important to me but it doesn’t come easy at all to me. The days when I wake up and go to work in a positive happy place are rare and I try my very best to look after them. However the other day, after a few minutes on the office I was listening to someone moan on about something and I felt the draining start. The smile started to slip, the bright sparkle in my eyes was dimmed and before you know it I had joined in and was having a moan about the same things as my colleague.
What happened in the end? They went away feeling better as they had off loaded and I was left with their emotional detritus and mourning the loss of my good mood. Thanks! Now what happens to the detritus they have given me, I take it in, evolve it and then pass it on to the people I meet. It could be in one big blow out or in dire size morsels but it will come out sooner or later.
Well, not anymore, I have a plan going forward, a script that I have already practiced for when it happens again, as it will happen again. When the drainer swoops in to off load their negative mood I shall bring up my verbal shield and deflect. I will stand strong and I will say, ‘No! Not today will I listen to the negativity, you’re a top guy/gal but not today will I listen to your vile negativity and let it erode my A1 kick ass mood!’ Although that is what is in my head and let’s face it that is a fucked up place as it is. It might be something along the lines of , ‘Let’s not start the day with a moan, let’s have a good start to the day and it will be a good day’ what do you think? Well, the words aren’t that important really are they, as long as the sentiment is there. Maybe it doesn’t have to be so direct, maybe I just have to lead the conversation into positive territory.
If anyone I know is reading this, I mean no offence in my comments, and I am guilty of it myself but maybe we maybe if we were all nice and positive that positivity would fester in us, just as negativity does, and we can flood our lives with more positivity and happiness!
Let’s give it a try, smile and have a laugh!