Choices

Hi all, Hope you are well! 

It been a hard few weeks since my last post when I shared with you that my marriage/relationship had ended after 10 years. There have been some dark days there have been some good days but now sitting writing this I know what has been done and what is to come is for the greater good for both parties. 

I have been surrounded by the bestest of friends and some amazing people and it is really lovely just how many people have got your back. I have a great counsellor and we have been working on some of the stuff I am finding difficult. In one of our conversations I shared how I feeling about suicide. Some of you who have read my previous posts know I have had a chequered history with mental health. I won’t go into the full details of the conversation as somethings are always private. However she discussed with me that everyday I choose not to end my life and to keep on living and that is a very positive thing. It struck a chord in me and has been very empowering. 

So everyday I choose not to end my life, some of you may think that is nothing but it seriously is, everyday I decide that I do have something to live for, something that gets me out of bed, in the shower and off out into the world. There’s me saying wow with my heading spinning thinking about how positive I suddenly feel. The power of choice is not just limited to that. 

Everyday I choose not to wallow in self pity and fretting about the end of my relationship, I choose to to live the best life I can with new adventures, friends, fun and laughter. It’s is so empowering to think that you have this level of influence over your own life but of course you do. You can choose to do anything you put your mind to, a dream, a task, to change how you feel about something. Some days it’s gonna be hard, some days it takes every bit of energy I have to keep going but other days it is easy. Some days I may fail but I choose not to dwell on that and to keep pushing on regardless and just take it as a lesson learned. 

I have stated on new adventures and made some new friends, the future is what I make of it and I have that choice. Time to take control of things and make the most of whatever time I have and have a blast. Don’t under estimate the power of the choices you make 

Si

Morning!

Good Morning!

Hope your all well. It’s a very bright Sunday morning, which is nice, we haven’t seen the sun in the UK for a few weeks just the rain. Hope to be going out for a walk later on to soak u up rays and charge up the vitamin D or is it vitamin B you get from sunlight? One or the other anyway. Lol

It has been a long week this week, considering I only work 4 days a week that’s slightly barmy. Maybe I should mention what I do for a living. Have worked for the same employer for just over 10 years. I won’t say who it is just in case I say the wrong thing on here and get myself into trouble. The company I work for is very protective of its reputation. To be honest I love working for them although do not like my current role but now am part of a trial for a new role that is going very well indeed. It’s all customer services based but I get to see and talk to our customers which I think makes a difference. Things are all set to change over the next few months, come August we will know the future of the companies ownership of us all and the place I work will be having a huge upgrade and that will change everything. I’m not good with change!

I did have a bit of a moment during the week and it made me think. People say that when you are down or in trouble you should ask for help. I agree with this totally but it made me think, what if you don’t like to ask, don’t know how to ask or don’t want to ask for help. With me it’s easy, my heart is on my sleaze and my friends usually can tell and vice versa. My Husband can be relied on to know with a subtle comment or two if he hasn’t already guessed. But what if you can’t see, how do you tell someone is in trouble? I recently did a course on suicides on the railway and it was a huge eye opener for me. Some people you can tell by the way they talk or act, some people you just can’t tell. What makes these people feel they can’t ask for help or display some kind of none verbal cry for help? I hope people will always be there for me and I hope I am always here for others.

Enough deep thought and gloom. His Lordship worked his way through a couple of bottles of wine last night so no doubt they’ll be slight hangover feelings today which of course will not be alcohol related at all and will be the result of the food that was eaten last night. Lol! A walk in the sun am sure will make him feel much better either that or he’ll crave carbs so the evil white loaf will make an appearance today! Lol

Hope you all have a good day!

Si